Challenging the status quo ….

I believe that exposure does inspire us to challenge ourselves to try out more new experiences. The humans are never satisfied with they already know, they want to know more and experience it for themselves. Its always been there deep within us, irrespective who we are.

Recently, I met a young 25 year old engineer in a group meeting who sounded very confident, eager to talk and chat, eager to volunteer for leadership role etc. As I always tend to do when I meet someone new,  I thought, let me google this young person, so I can get to know her better. Also, its a way for me to understand where they studied or lived or read about, say via one medium which would be the internet. Their exposure could be from many different angels, where they grew up, what their parents did etc. I was intrigued by the maturity of the persons writing on the internet.  The articles looked very well written and thought through. I looked at where the person had worked etc. Then suddenly I ran into an interesting matrimonial AD about this person posted by her father is group exclusive to a particular sect of caste and language. And the father, clearly sounding like a traditional well meaning dad had put out the entire history of the girl as well as his family qualifications. The call was for the usual ME, MS, PhD, MBA, well settled, educated boy from a well settled family type of thing.

After my 2 years in India, I had already come to realize that education in India did not necessarily mean the person was ‘liberated’ and ‘educated’ in the mind. Education in india is just meant to get you the opportunity to earn an income if required (for girl’s it was optional) but they key was to finally get married to a smart educated person so you produce more ‘well educated’ and ‘well settled’ offsprings. To see a young dymanic person who could really get a lot more out of life especially when she or he had just started exploring all the experiences life had to offer, was a little unnerving.  I went to my own history as a 25 yr old in the US, just as the downturn was affecting the US economy. I did not look or project myself as a confident individual …I had taken the bold step to marry the person of my choice, and was still struggling trying to convince my parents. The only thing I was confident about myself was that i didn’t care about religion or caste of the person as much as I really cared about my own passion to protect my freedom and independence and finding a life partner who not only respected it but admired and cherished it as much as he did his own.

Its often hard for me to understand what makes young, accomplished, and financially independent girls and even boys to still succumb to these traditional caste/religious pressures. What was even more intriguing was the fact, that the parent of this person, so innocently had written the ‘requirements’ for the boy.  The basic premise of the AD was also that people don’t change. Someone who at the age 29 is having the required background, but say at 32 decided that he wanted to really follow their persuit of say photography, filmmaking, travel, journalism, painting etc, then there is no ‘backup plan’ for his daughter.  As I have particularly noticed, with many young people across the country and even in the US, many have changed their careers, are trying out new things or going beyond their traditional roles/jobs having already experienced the financial freedom at a young age, which their parents took an entire lifetime to achieve.  Sincerely speaking, don’t people change, and don’t we all have a right to do course corrections in our lives, as and when we realize what our true calling is. What we are as individuals at 25, we are not the same at 35 and what we are at 35, we are not at 45….and this is happening more so in the uninhibited 21st century India, then it ever did in the past 50 years.

I wondered, if this 25 yr old person who seems otherwise very well read and well exposed was even geared up about the change she herself is going to experience as much as her ‘well educated, well settled’ spouse is going experience.